Sober Dating

Quitting drinking was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  One of the most terrifying things, was hoping that as sober individuals my husband and I could still connect.

My husband and I’s entire relationship was built on the party. From our first weekend together to our last drinking hurrah. We loved to be the life of the party. We loved to have people over for drinks, go out for drinks, go to concert and drink…

In July of 2015, we made the decision to take 30 days away from alcohol. Here we are, almost two years later and we still have yet to drink again. We made the choice to continue our 30-day challenge when we realized how much we felt better off without alcohol physically, emotionally, financially. We had significantly better energy, found that we had to work through our emotions, felt less apathetic, lost weight. I took up aerial silks to give my body something new and exciting to focus on. There is no way I would be the aerialist I am today without being sober. There is no way my relationship would be as strong as it is if we hadn’t stopped.

Connecting with others is really hard. Alcohol was always social lubrication. It made it easier to meet people and connect. But those connections were usually alcohol induced bonds. I used to have a phone full of numbers of people I’d meet while drinking, people I’d share my soul and too much about my life with, people I’d never speak to again.

Where we live the majority of the social scenes involve alcohol. I think because of the long, cold winters it becomes a natural way for people to deal with the cabin fever. It’s liquid apathy. Restaurants, concerts, ball games, socializing and almost every other circumstance seemed to revolve around alcohol. I used to be caught in those traps as well.

How the hell was I supposed to find things to do with my significant other now that our go to was gone?

Dating my husband as sober individuals showed us that our love was so much deeper than our connection to have fun and party. We now had much more intimate conversations, new experiences, and we remember our time together vividly. We try more exciting things now than we did while we drank. We travel more. Live more. Love more. Our friendships are deeper and stronger. Activity-wise we no longer are a slave to being somewhere that serves alcohol. The activities we choose now are usually much healthier too.  Things like walking more, being outdoors, and other more exciting adventures.  I wanted to share some of the experiences we have had and used in our two years sober. Some of these we have crossed off our list, others still have yet to enjoy. I am thankful for the privilege to have shared these experiences together.  I hope they inspire you to spend time together with the people you love, without alcohol.

Date Night, Creative Arts Studio in Royal Oak Michigan

Sober Date Activity Ideas!

 

Creative Ideas

  • Pottery Painting

  • Painting Classes:

    • Most Painting with a Twist type classes don’t require alcohol. Pack yourself a fun Mocktail or sparkling water and enjoy the class!

  • Other Art Classes

    • Glass fusing

    • DIY projects

    • Pallet Board painting

Outdoors: Don’t forget to pack a picnic!

  • Hikes:

    • Our favorite go to!  Cheap, Time Consuming, Accessible. You can determine how much time you have, where you want to go, how far or difficult.

  • Bike, Skate:

    • At 29 we picked up skateboarding! You are never too old to learn something new. Push yourself to try something new or tough.  No one expects you to go pro, there is no pressure so just have fun!

  • Kayak, Canoe

  • Paddle Board/ Paddle Boat

  • Running:

    • My husband and I attempted to run as bonding time, but after realizing we prefer different paces, we decided this wasn’t a date activity for us.  

 

Physical Activities

  • Dance Lessons

  • Yoga

  • Duo Acro

  • Circus Arts

    • Aerial Silks, Trapeze, Lyra, Pole. Whatever you enjoy doing together. Try a variety of classes and see if it’s something you enjoy.

  • Ice Skating

Other Ideas

  • Zoo

  • Aquarium

  • Art Museum

  • Other Museums

  • Amusement Park

  • Concerts

Seasonal

  • Fruit and Vegetable Picking

  • Beach Lounging in the summer

  • Sledding/ Skiing/Snowboarding

Restaurants

  • Avoid Restaurants that are bar focused. We prefer smaller, authentic places. Most of these places don’t have a liquor license and we can enjoy a meal without even seeing a bar.

Laurel Miller

Entrepreneur, Wife, Mom